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        Die Gemeinschaft Gildenforum >> Off Topic >> Tag des Sysadmin's
        
(Message started by: Hybal_Grimbolt on 30. Jul 2004 at 10:55)

Title: Tag des Sysadmin's
Post by Hybal_Grimbolt on 30. Jul 2004 at 10:55

http://www.nimroth.de/uf005775.gif

Title: Re: Tag des Sysadmin's
Post by Selo on 30. Jul 2004 at 11:10

HABSCH GEMACHT ...

Ob jetzt meine Email-Begrenzung aufgehoben wird, aber ich hab gehört, die mögen mich auch so ::) weil ich der einzige bin, der seinen Kaffee bezahlt :D

Title: Re: Tag des Sysadmin's
Post by Hybal_Grimbolt on 30. Jul 2004 at 12:52

BWAHAHAHAHAHA !!!

And here's a guide to man-machine interface.....

USER-FRIENDLY

C:\ DUR
Command not found. Try retyping

USER-HELPFUL

C:\ DUR
I don't understand DUR. Do you mean DIR ?

USER-UNFRIENDLY

C:\ DUR
C:\ DUR
C:\ DUR
C:\ DUR

USER-HOSTILE

C:\ DUR
Ha! A mistake! I'm sure you meant to say FORMAT, so that's what
I'll do.

USER-INDIFFERENT

C:\ DUR
DUR?

USER-PATRONIZING

C:\ DUR
Now, that's not quite right is it? Let's try again; this time,
use the manual that the nice salesperson gave you when you bought me.

USER-OBSEQUIOUS

C:\ DUR
I'm so very, very sorry but I don't understand that. I'm sure it
was my fault, but if you would please try again I'll do my best.

USER-SARCASTIC

C:\ DUR
Well, Look who's made a mistake then. Very unusual, I don't think.

USER-INSULTING

C:\ DUR
F*ck off
C:\ DIR
F*ck off

USER-SMUG

C:\ DUR
No
C:\ DOR
Nope
C:\ HELP
No
C:\ PLEASE
Not unless you give me a 300Mb hard disk to live on.
C:\ B*ST*RD
Abuse will get you nowhere

USER-ANALYTICAL

C:\ DUR
What makes you say that?
C:\ A TYPING MISTAKE
How long have you been making these mistakes?
C:\ BANANAS
Do you like bananas?
C:\ I LOVE THEM
Why do you bring up the subject of love?
...etc

USER-McDONALD

May I help you please?
C:\ DUR
I'm sorry but that command is not available at this time. Have a
nice day.
C:\ DIR
Will that be an MS-DOS directory?
C:\ YES
To read here, or for printout to take away?
C:\ HERE
Thank you. Have a nice day.

USER-MEGALOMANIAC

C:\ DUR
Don't bother me with trivial requests. I'm busy.

Title: Re: Tag des Sysadmin's
Post by Hybal_Grimbolt on 30. Jul 2004 at 17:23

The purpose of this memo is to announce the development of a new plant-wide software system. We are currently building a data warehouse that will contain all plant manufacturing data. The program is referred to as the "Manufacturing Information Access Software System" (MIASS).

Next Monday at 0900 there will be a meeting in which I will display MIASS. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MIASS. As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects yet, so currently only one person can be in MIASS at a time. This should change as MIASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this morning, I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MIASS. I've noticed, though, that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MIASS.

Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say to me, "I'm nervous; I've never put anything in MIASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time, and when we were done she admitted that it was relatively painless and that she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MIASS.

I know that there are some concerns over the virus that was found in MIASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say that the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MIASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MIASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information associated with business, so as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MIASS. As MIASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "Here, stick this in MIASS."

The program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA, ISO, EPA and FDA audits. After requesting certain historical data, the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly, our Environmental Manager proudly stated, "Simple -- I just pulled them out of MIASS."